Cry, Even Better if you Beg

A white dove landed gently on the balcony’s railing.

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Folding its wing, the bird naturally approached the bird feeder and pecked its food deliciously, doused in the golden light of the fading sun that seeped in between its white feathers.

“Phoebe.”

Matthias blurted out its name after seeing that bird perched on his window.

‘Phoebe’—‘What a grand name for such a bird.’

His sneer at that bird-crazed woman flowed softly like a sigh.

 

Matthias rose from his sofa and opened the balcony door.
The river wind near the sunset felt cold and humid, playing in both up tempo gusts and gentle lulls.

When he went close, the pigeon continued to eat its feed, undisturbed.
That docile bird’s personality contrasted sharply with that of its owner.

Softly, the evening came with the sunset while he was leaning against the railing.
Matthias closed his eyes so he could hear the wind whispering.
Their dulcet tones became a feast for his ears.
The gentle rustling sound of the autumn leaves, falling and dancing in the quiet, beautiful forest bloomed like a soothing lullaby.

Everywhere he looked, he could only see Leyla in Arvis’s autumn.

He watched her diligently go to work by pedalling her bike and returning home with a tired face.
In her spare time, she volunteered to do the gardener’s work and sometimes scoured the forest with her big basket to collect mushrooms and wild berries.

In his beautiful cage of Arvis, everything he had in this world stayed in its proper place.

That perfect world satisfied him.
More than enough to erase the disillusionment he tasted last summer after helping Linda Etman stop Kyle and Leyla’s marriage.

‘Leyla….she should be where she deserved to be.’

As he opened his eyes, Matthias could feel a semblance of satisfaction spreading over his system like a pleasurable intoxication.

The stuffed pigeon soon left the balcony and flitted to the cottage, going back to its owner.

He believed that the bird would come here again tomorrow and the day after.
He had no interest in the bird’s feelings, but he knew well how to tame it.

To earn that carrier bird’s heart, he just needed to provide the bird a safe place and let it eat to the fullest.

It was a trick he had honed while serving in the military.
Soldiers often used carrier pigeons to deliver messages when communication devices were poor, or there was a risk of information being leaked to the enemy.
He was currently using the same method the military bird trainers used to tame Phoebe.

Leyla’s carrier bird, Phoebe, realized there was no use in flying to Kyle Etman’s tightly shut window.
A new food source had appeared, and the place was safe, so unhesitatingly, Phoebe would fly to his annex from now on.
That bird was quite clever, unlike its foolish and clumsy owner.

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Matthias looked at the flying bird and suddenly frowned.
His memory slithered back to the autumn picnic day— when her smile faded to nothingness the moment their eyes met.

 

“But it’s probably a smile you’ve countlessly shown to the doctor’s son.”

The annex shade that shrouded the balcony became darker when his train of thoughts jumped to that conclusion.

Ever since Leyla was a child, never once had she smiled in front of him, nor could she hold back her tears.

So ….he made her cry.

If he couldn’t make her laugh, he would have made her cry.

Whether it was her smile or her tears, he was satisfied with everything about her.

If all he could give her were tears, then he would make her shed them.

He was also willing to break her heart.

‘But what if you could give me something else?’

These days, Matthias often falls into such a reverie.
He no longer wanted to see her being scared or angry at him.

He simply wanted her to look only at him.
Sometimes humoring him and smiling at him full of overwhelming bliss after he granted her wish.

Now….he knew his desire…

Leyla Lewellin….

He lusted for her…

All of her…

Everything about her….

*.·:·.✧.·:·.*

“You’ve gained weight, Phoebe.”

Leyla tutted as she peered at Phoebe snuggling in her hands.
She mistook it for a puff of thick feathers preparing for the winter, but as she got a closer look, it was apparent that Phoebe had gained some weight.

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“Is it because it’s fall?”

Cuckoo… Cuckoo….
Cuckoo

Leyla kept questioning Phoebe, but the bird seemed to ignore her.

“Where are you eating now? You don’t even have Kyle now…”

Her last words, she unintentionally said, left her stunned.
Tears welled up in her eyes, whenever his name came out.

‘No, it’s fine.
Don’t cry.’

Leyla tried to keep her tears from spilling out of her eyes.
They had promised to take care of themselves, and she would do her best to keep that promise.

She calmed herself down by taking a deep breath and then released her chubby Phoebe.
That bird roamed around the yard for a while before flying to the far side of the forest.

It was an ordinary day.

She diligently finished her morning routine and went to work after seeing off Uncle Bill.

The sound of her winding bicycle chain clicking along the Arvis’ road, splendidly carpeted with autumnal leaves creating a noisy tune.

“Teacher!”

Students who recognized her waved their hands as she entered the road in front of the school.

Leyla dismounted her bike, greeted the children, and walked into the school.

It was an ordinary day, but she felt a bunch of happiness.

The children were much more obedient than usual, and they scored well on their mathematics and spelling tests.
The languid warmth of the classroom she loved, the lunchtime chatter with Mrs.
Grever she enjoyed, and the cloudless, high, bright blue sky beyond the window.

She smiled.

Leyla steeled her heart and smiled brightly every time she was reminded of Kyle at waking or on her way home from work.

But, as she got closer to Arvis, she could no longer ignore the memories she shared with him as they walked through the streets together.

Loneliness suddenly swallowed her up, taking what was once her inner light and replacing it with a darkness that overshadows each moment.

Layla stopped her bike on the sideroad.
She felt helpless.

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The myriad of memories gliding above the road snowballed into a deep regret.

They couldn’t live like brother and sister for the rest of their lives, as they weren’t related by blood.
Nor could they live as best friends as man and woman.
But they never knew their relationship was meant to end in separation from the very beginning.

They never once expected that they would love, get hurt, and become like this in the end…

As her vision began to blur, Leyla squirmed and bit her lip.
She encouraged herself, closing her eyes as if she was enchanting a spell.

‘I’ll be fine.
I’ll be fine for sure, so please take care of yourself, Kyle.’

Fortunately, she was able to contain her sobs and continue pedalling her bike.

A black car approached from afar and eventually brushed past her.

*.·:·.✧.·:·.*

Matthias made the driver pull over the car at the entrance of Platanus road.
After telling his aide to go back first, he was then left alone on the road, just like the day when last summer had begun.

He took a leisurely walk, waiting for the approaching figure.
The fallen leaves rustled underneath his shoes.

When the sound of a bicycle running through the road was faintly heard, Matthias naturally slowed down his pace.

He turned around at the same time Leyla stopped her bike at an appropriate distance from him.

The expected scene unfolded before his still eyes; Leyla was in front of him, along with her bicycle.

“Hello, Duke …Herhardt.”

Leyla awkwardly greeted him after glancing around.
Her braided, curled hair was half loose and fluttered in the wind.
She didn’t seem to have a knack for dressing up as her hair was always tied too neatly or too loosely like today.

Still, he quite liked her clumsy appearance.

Matthias nodded his head in a straight posture, one hand behind his back.
Leyla blinked her emerald eyes while holding tight her bike’s handlebars.
Whatever she did, she always looked uptight whenever she encountered him.

“Well then….
Excuse me.”

After bowing, Leyla dragged her bicycle past him and kept walking.

“You have to act like a proper lady, Leyla.”

Matthias warned, staring at her back.

Leyla had just hopped on the saddle when she flinched and pulled back the bike she was about to pedal.

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“You know that.
If you want me to be a gentleman, you need to behave like a lady.”

Matthias slowly approached her, who could neither get off the bike nor step on the pedal.
He continued,

“And I need to be a gentleman for your bird to be safe.”

Leyla immediately turned her head.
She frowned and stepped off her bike.
Matthias smirked as he tilted his head and peered down at her.
Her moist eyes looked petrified, but her dainty twisted lips voiced displeasure and defiance.

‘What a cranky woman.’

After a long stare at her, who pathetically trembled at his joke, Matthias walked forward as if nothing had happened.
Having no other choice, Leyla dragged her bicycle and followed him from behind with a heavy stride.

Matthias sighed and turned around.
“I never asked for you to act as my maid.”

Leyla, who grimly looked down at her toes and followed him like a shadow, suddenly raised her head, taken aback.

“Yes? Ah… .”

Despite her stubbornness, she was smart enough to understand what he meant.
She quickly took a couple more steps towards him.
Her gloomy expression conveyed her displeasure, but they were still one step apart.

Matthias scoffed as he got his wish and stepped back.

As he began to walk again, Leyla carefully matched his pace.
With a bicycle between them, they strolled side by side on the Platanus road.

There were no words spoken between them.
The refreshing evening breeze was filled with only the sound of bicycle wheels spinning and falling leaves being tramped.

He was a man who walked very slowly with those long legs of his.

Leyla meekly glanced at him after turning her eyes at the road that seemed to be fading away.
He was a languid man, but his pace was especially slow today.

She wasn’t sure whether she was feeling that way because of the awkward situation.

He was a man of similar height as Kyle, but he gave off a bigger, and domineering presence.
She reasoned, it might’ve been because of his straight, elegant posture and distinctive eyes.
His physical appearance also looked firmer and broader than Kyle.

‘Maybe that’s why he seems so different.’

Leyla made her own findings and deliberately moved her gaze upward.
She observed his white, smooth hands, his dark grey suit, his delicately shaped tie, expressionless lips and his… eyes.

His sapphire eyes noticed her gaze and beheld her.

Leyla suddenly was seized with instinctive fear.
She meant to bend her head, but her mind wandered elsewhere.

As he thoroughly looked into her eyes as if he was captivated, Matthias opened his lips.