Chapter 18: Dyed black, it can be white again

[Ayana PoV]

I think we all have scary dreams.
I am no exception to this, and sometimes I have dreams that make me shiver.

 It feels terrifying to stand alone in the darkness and silence that spreads out before me.
But now I am not so afraid.
Because I know that I am sleeping with a happy expression on my face, in the arms of Towa-kun, because of the warm feelings that linger in my chest.

 No matter how scary and painful I feel, I can get over it just by having someone I love there.
That’s what I learned from Towa-kun.

I wonder what I was doing before.

 I had never confided anything to Towa-kun, and I was just vigilantly watching for an opportunity to take revenge on those people.
Even now, I cannot forgive the words that hurt Towa-kun, but at least I no longer had the slightest intention of committing the worst acts.

 If they don’t understand me, I’ll talk with them until they do…… and if that’s still impossible, I may as well run away somewhere with Towa-kun.

I asked as I smiled, picturing such a scene in my mind.
A presence that has been with me all along, a black hooded girl with a face much like mine.

This is the path I have chosen.
This is the future I want to pursue with Towa-kun.

 When I said this, the girl answered with a fleeting smile.

I see.
You are different from me, huh I envy you a little.”

 She looked up as she mouthed something regretful and sad.
Her eyes, which looked at me enviously as if she had said the words, did not show any kind of emotion, if I may say so.
A child with the same face as mine, I somehow understand this child.
But I had a strange certainty that when I wake up from this dream, I will probably forget about her.

But you must have someone you care about, too.
Don’t you?”

 She nodded at these words.

“Right….that must be it”

 I thought I saw her laugh behind her hood.

 There was a light shining through, interrupting me and her.
Apparently, the time of waking up is near.
She turned to me at the end and said these words.

“Please be happy.
You have your future with …… Towa-kun forever.”

Of course.

 I responded with a smile, of course.

I woke up.

 The room is still a little dimly lit, but a little light is leaking through the curtains.
I felt a slight chill peculiar to early morning, and as my consciousness gradually awakened, I suddenly realized that I was being held by someone who I loved more than anyone else.


Even though I questioned him, he did not wake up.
On the contrary, he put more strength in his arms to hold me even tighter.
I was not in pain even though he was holding me tightly, rather I felt that he should have hugged me tighter.

I was already awake and didn’t want to go back to sleep, so I decided to feel the warmth of Towa-kun as much as I could, so I leaned in closer to him.
I was so attached to Towa-kun’s warmth, Towa-kun’s smell, and Towa-kun’s living heartbeat…… that I felt as if I were at the peak of my happiness.
Of course, thinking about the future, I can’t be satisfied yet.
I’m going to be happy with Towa-kun more and more.

 As I was thinking that enthusiastically on my own, Towa-kun’s arm loosened a little bit.
I was a little disappointed, but in return, I decided to hug him this time and hugged his head to my chest.


“…… so cute.”

 I wonder if he felt something from the touch of my breasts on his cheek, and he made a cute noise, but he did not wake up.
My br*asts are on the large side, so I was careful not to make Towa-kun suffer, and gently hugged him as if I was spoiling him to the fullest.

 I feel very strange when I do this.
What is it …… motherhood? I don’t have children yet, so I don’t know what that feels like, but this feeling of love that seems to overflow into my chest is really comfortable.

“Ah,…..Mou, Towa-kun

 I’m ticklish because he’s slipping his face into my chest, but I don’t mind it.

After a while, he woke up while I was holding the cute little Towa-kun to my chest like that.
At first he was in a daze, but gradually his mind started to work and he seemed to understand what was going on with him.

this is what it feels like to be held between someone’s chest while sleeping and waking up.”

“Fufu, does it feel good?”


 It’s so honest.
The most important thing to remember is that you should never be afraid to ask for help.

I have large br*asts, I am subjected to all kinds of stares.
The stares from classmates at school and from men on my way to school …… are not very pleasant.

However, even so, if Towa-kun says something like this, I would want to say that I have grown up well to this extent.
The downside is that my shoulders get stiff, and it’s a small blemish that it costs money for underwear.

 I spoiled Towa-kun in such a way, and after a while I was spoiled too, and we finally got out of bed after receiving all the love that would melt us into mush.

“Let’s go take a bath.”



“I just felt so happy in the morning.”

 I have a lot of things I want to do, but first I have to go to the bath.

 I took a bath with Towa-kun, cleaned myself up, and then we spent some time talking about other things.
Akemi, who was off work, joined us and we had a lively time.

 After lunch, I had to leave because I had something to do.
Towa-kun offered to walk me home, so I took him up on his offer.
We walk down the street with our arms around each other, huddled together…… same as yesterday but I love being attached to Towa-kun like this.

Then, Towa-kun, I’ll call you later.”

“Ou …… but, haha.
I’m a little lonely.”

Me too”

I want to be by Towa-kun’s side forever if possible, but since we’re still students, we can’t do that.
I want to become an adult quickly, get married and be with Towa-kun from morning till night… Oh no, I’m hopeless.
I really seem to like Towa-kun too much.

When we parted, Towa-kun kissed me and to some extent my loneliness seemed to be drowned out…….
I parted from Towa-kun with a smile and headed home.


Just before entering my house, I glanced at Shu-kun’s house across the street, but that was all.
I don’t know what happened to him since then, but to be honest, I wasn’t interested.
More importantly, I have something I need to talk to my mother about from now on.

 I opened the front door and said I was home, but there were no words in return.
But I was sure that my mother was home because I could feel someone was there.
I took off my shoes and headed for the living room.

“Welcome home, Ayana.”

“I’m home.”

I didn’t tell her that I was staying at Towa-kun’s house, but she must have some idea what to expect from the word “like”.
Besides, I also told him that I would talk to her today, which is probably why Mom was waiting for me like this.

 I sat down to sit across from my mother and was about to open my mouth when she opened it first.

“…… were you visiting him?”

 A short question, and I know who he is referring to.
So I nodded.

I stayed at Towa-kun’s house.
And we’re going out.”

“……I see.”

 ……It’s a little strange.

…It’s a little strange.

My mother hated Towa-kun, and I thought our conversation would end in an argument, but it didn’t.
Instead of anger, I sense a feeling of resignation from her expression.

“…In the end”


“In the end, I’ll lose my daughter… to the child born of that man and woman.”

“…What do you mean?”

I could not understand what my mother was saying.
Hearing those words from my mother’s mouth once made me feel disgusted that I am related to this person by blood.
But it is true that talking to Towa-kun and looking at myself has broadened my perspective.
That is why I was able to see my mother better than I had all those years ago.

 Seeing my mother in such a tired state, I suddenly remembered.

 It was the uncomfortable feeling I had felt when I saw the picture of Towa-kun’s father, a sense of déjà vu, as if I had seen him somewhere before.


In the past, I had once seen an old photo of my mother.

 At that time, it was a young mother in high school and the man …… next to her.
I remember now.
Towa’s father, Ryo Yukishiro, was the man in that picture.

点击屏幕以使用高级工具 提示:您可以使用左右键盘键在章节之间浏览。

You'll Also Like