Chapter 91 – Bitter Memories

Gareth then pointed to the hill where he had fallen so that Elena could see it.
Although she didn’t respond verbally, he could tell that she was listening.
After showing her the hill, Gareth led his horse to an enormous tree that stood wide and tall.
The plant strangely didn’t have any grass in its vicinity.
Gareth pointed to the tree and explained, “I first learned and practiced swordsmanship here when I was young.
I was taught since I was four—I would practice here until my mother would come out to take me back to the castle.
I stepped and jumped on that place so much that the grass doesn’t even grow anymore.
Can you see it?”

Gareth then got off his horse and helped Elena off after.
Holding her in his arms, he approached the tree and pointed to a spot on the bark.
“As I grew, I had to frequently change my sword.
I marked the length of my sword every time it was changed, and that mark right there is the last one I was able to make as a Garcia,” he said.
Gareth became agitated once he thought about the name that was taken away from him, but managed to slow his breathing.
“The original name given to me was Gareth Garcia.
I was the heir to Duke Garcia.”

Gareth felt Elena flinch slightly in his arms.
“Duke Garcia was known to be one of the most loyal vassals to the king for generations.
I was the heir, which meant that I had to follow my father’s footsteps and be loyal to the king as well… One day, when I was 14 years old, my father invited his best friend, Duke Blaim, to dinner.
I had lost my entire family that evening before dinner was over.” Gareth paused for a moment, letting out a shaky breath.
To this day, this horrific memory made his heart wrench.
Still, he had to tell Elena the truth.

Gareth exhaled rather heavily, then continued, “After they left us in the pit thinking we were all dead, I realized that I had survived alone.
It took two years for my injuries to heal.
I had no one to turn to back then.
I believe it was since then when I closed myself off from others and decided to trust no one.”

After he finished speaking, Gareth helped Elena back onto the horse as if he had said everything that needed to be said.
He then got on as well and fumbled inside Elena’s coat for her hand.
He grabbed it and brought it to his left eye.

“I completely lost my left eyesight due to the injuries back then.”

Elena’s fingertips trembled noticeably at his words.

“My keen sense of hearing compared to others may have developed in lieu of my lost vision in one eye.
I’ve put a lot of effort into sharpening my other senses since the injury so that no one would realize that I’m blind in one eye.”

Elena unwittingly moved her fingers over his seemingly fine left eye.
She had not noticed at all until now that he could not see out of one eye.

“And no one will know except for you.
You’ll be the only one to know things about me.”

Gareth took his horse around his estate until lunchtime, pointing out various places to Elena and thinking back to his childhood memories.
He showed her where he had first learned to swim, to shoot an arrow, and where he had fallen out of a tree while playing around.
Telling these stories made Gareth realize that this place where he had been born and raised was filled with fond memories.
Nevertheless, this was also the place where he had to bury his family.
Gareth chatted about what came to his mind without thinking much, even if they didn’t make a lot of sense at times.
This was the best he could do, as he was originally a man of few words.

When Gareth reached a place that reminded him of memories regarding Adelia, he tightened his arm on Elena’s waist and spoke quietly, “I admired my parents and loved my one and only sister, Adelia.
However, I wasn’t able to fulfill my duty to protect her.
That was when I became a mercenary so that I could eventually avenge her.
Ever since I had lost my family, I hadn’t been able to sleep well.
I kept telling myself that I would be able to rest and sleep in peace once I had avenged my family, but I was wrong.
I always tossed and turned in bed until… until I met you.”

Gareth leaned his forehead against Elena’s shoulder and continued, “I frequently have this dream where I’m dead, but my family doesn’t even recognize me.
There’s so much blood on me that no one is able to recognize who I am.
Despite being haunted by this terrible dream often, I can’t stop killing.
Sometimes, I become extremely agitated or angry and kill until I lose myself.
When I return to myself, I realize that I’m soaked in blood.
This horrible nature of mine stained me with the stench of blood.
The awful smell sometimes even makes me sick.
But you… you stayed beside me despite this… and I’m so sorry for hurting you until now, Elena,” he concluded with a heartfelt, trembling voice.