Shamer

“What did I do…”

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After the game, I was walking home alone.
Normally I would have gone home with Touya and Ruri, but I talked to them and asked them to leave me alone.

Touya said, “I didn’t score a goal either, so don’t worry about it,” and my teammates said, “It’s not Kenji’s fault.”

…But it was completely my fault.
I was very concerned about it.

“How can I ever become a pro if I’m like this?”

I muttered discouragingly.

Now there was no more talk of getting a special recommendation from Matsunaga-san.

When I returned home, I found that no one was home.

Both of my parents were away all day today, apparently because they had some work they had to do.

Of course, they didn’t come to watch today’s game either.
…I was honestly glad they didn’t come to today’s game.
If they came, I was about to show my parents how pathetic I was.

“…I’m tired.”

I placed my bag down and sat down in the doorway in my uniform.
I don’t even feel like changing.

After sitting there for a few minutes with nothing to do, the house phone suddenly rang.

“What?”

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I finally get up and go into the living room to pick up the phone, which has been ringing for a long time.

“Yes, this is Tanaka.”

“Is it Kenji-kun?”

On the other side of the phone was Matsunaga-san.

“Matsunaga-san! What’s wrong?”

“I wanted to talk to you about something, and I’m glad you picked up, Kenji-kun.”

“Something you wanted to talk to me about…?”

“Ah, and by the way, umm… that game today was quite unfortunate.”

“…I’m sorry.”

I apologized at Matsunaga-san’s words.”

“Um… the special recommendation is…”

“I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

“I see…”

I asked him with a ray of hope, but our deal was if I could win today’s game and go to the national tournament.
The actual reason for this was that the game was lost and also my mistake was the cause of the loss.
There was no way they would give me a special recommendation.

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“But you know, Kenji, everyone makes mistakes.
Even professionals make mistakes.
So don’t worry about it.”

Matsunaga-san gently encouraged me.

It was still very hard for me mentally, but I felt a little better now that he said those words.

“Thank you very much.
So, I’ve decided… I’ll like to be admitted to Teijo High School on a general recommendation.”

“Umm, that’s the thing…”

Matsunaga-san sounds somewhat reluctant.
What is it…?

I wondered why, and for some reason, I had an incredibly bad feeling about it.

Then, Matsunaga-san said──

“I’m sorry, but Kenji-kun is no longer allowed to be admitted to our high school.”

“Hm!? W-What do you mean!?”

I asked loudly.

Besides, Matsunaga-san seemed to have difficulty saying it, and began to explain.

“Actually, a few promising athletes have decided to join our school, and because of that, all of our recommendation slots have been filled.”

“N-No way… So you’re saying that even the general recommendation slots are gone as well?”

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When I asked, Matsunaga-san let out a troubled breath.

“Kenji-kun didn’t get back to me about the recommendation.
I am sorry, but I gave priority to those who made a decision before you did.”

“H-How…”

I couldn’t believe that the recommendation was lost because I was too late in making my decision…

B-But! In order to make my dream come true, I can’t give up on this offer!

“P-Please! I’ll do anything, just please don’t cancel the recommendation!”

“This is a done deal, I can’t do it anymore.”

“Please do something about that!”

“…I’m sorry, Kenji-kun.”

Matsunaga-san said in an apologetic voice.

The moment I heard that, I realized there was nothing I could do.

Why me… Why…? With my head in turmoil, I knew I had to at least ask this.

“Okay, so just one last thing…who are the few promising athletes who got in on recommendation?”

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“Well, this isn’t really something I should talk about, but… I’ll tell you specially because of your feelings.”

Next, all the names that came out of Matsunaga-san’s mouth were people I had heard of at least once.

They were some of the best players in Tokyo, or nationally famous.

“And this time, one has been chosen to join us with a special recommendation.”

“Eh…Is that so…?”

I wanted this special recommendation by all means.

Who in the world got in…?

“Umm…that kid is actually—Touya-kun.”

Matsunaga-san hesitated before saying so.

The moment my best friend’s name came up, my mind went blank.

Why… Because that person should have gotten recommendations from more high schools.

There must have been dozens of schools that wanted him.
So how was it that the only high school I’ve been recommended to, and the one I wanted so badly, was the one he had taken the special recommendation for…

I was about to be crushed by my crumpled emotions when I realized that the call was disconnected.

Why did I do that…?