Turns Out I’m Crazy

They were both men, so they would definitely have masturbated before.

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When Chen Qianqing helped Lu Zhengfei pull one off, he had to comfort himself by convincing himself that he was actually just masturbating.
Having to face someone who had the same face as himself felt very strange, so if not because he was afraid of receiving Lu Zhengfei’s abuse when he could no longer hold himself back one of these days, Chen Qianqing would never have suggested this.

Chen Qianqing had been having troubles sleeping since his first time with Lu Zhengfei; he had slept so little that he could even count on one hand the hours he slept each day.

Lu Zhengfei did not notice anything off about Chen Qianqing, he only thought that in comparison to the Chen Qianqing of the past, he was easier to compromise with now, and was not as stubborn nor prickly.

If anything happened, he was willing to tell him, he did not keep it all within himself anymore.

The relationship between the old Chen Qianqing and Lu Zhengfei had been unnatural since the very start.
Instead of saying that they dating each other, it was more like they have been torturing each other.
Chen Qianqing’s greatest joy in his life was to see Lu Zhengfei in pain.

And it was the same now as well.
For Lu Zhengfei to become Chen Qianqing felt more like Chen Qianqing’s revenge.
He wanted Lu Zhengfei to suffer everything he did, and experience all of it from the start.

But frankly, that Chen Qianqing was right.
After Lu Zhengfei had become Chen Qianqing, what he had to experience was a series of nightmares he could never have imagined having in the past——Take for example, being violated by himself.

The young Lu Zhengfei was a very energetic man.
With his head down, Chen Qianqing held his organ with a frown, appearing to be in much distress.

“Qianqing.” Lu Zhengfei wanted to reach out to hold Chen Qianqing, but he evaded him.

“Lu Zhengfei.” Chen Qianqing peeked at him from the corner of his eye and saw a Lu Zhengfei who was breathing heavily.
He spat out coldly: “Sit down and don’t move.” The organ in his hand was getting hotter and hotter, and the heat almost felt like it was burning the skin of his palm.

The person sitting in front of him looked just like him, so Chen Qianqing did not even dare to raise his head, it even gave him the illusion that he was pleasuring himself in front of a mirror.
Following Chen Qianqing’s ministrations, Lu Zhengfei finally ejaculated.

“Qianqing.” Lu Zhengfei spoke: “I want you.”

Chen Qianqing’s body stiffened in an instant.
He knew that jerking him off was only a stop-gap measure since he could not reject Lu Zhengfei’s advances forever.
Be it a month, or maybe two, as time goes on, he will definitely end up blowing his top.

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The young Lu Zhengfei could be coaxed, so long as you avoided showing any force or struggle; having his pride destroyed taught him the importance of compromising with him.

If it was the twenty year old Lu Zhengfei who was reborn as the twenty year old Chen Qianqing, then he might only have ended up fighting with himself, falling deep into an even worse situation.

But facing the pleading Lu Zhengfei at this moment, Chen Qianqing could only drag things on for so long.
Thus, he responded: “Lu Zhengfei, can you give me some time?”

Chen Qianqing would rarely speak to him in a way that created room for discussion, much less saying such words.
After hearing what he said, a look of surprise emerged within Lu Zhengfei’s eyes.
He said: “Qianqing, are you finally willing to accept me?”

Chen Qianqing did not respond.
He pulled out a tissue from its box and wiped the fluids off his hand.

“Qianqing?” Lu Zhengfei took Chen Qianqing’s shoulder and forced him to turn over.
He looked him in the face and asked: “Are you willing to accept me now?”

Chen Qianqing’s eyes had always been calm.
Looking at how excited Lu Zhengfei was, he felt a little desolate.
Yes, the young him was eager for Chen Qianqing to accept him, but it was a pity, because Lu Zhengfei would never be able to get what he wanted.

Thus, Chen Qianqing enunciated his reply: “Lu Zhengfei, I will never fall in love with you.”——These words were spoken both for himself, and also the Chen Qianqing he had hurt.
He did not think it was worth deceiving Lu Zhengfei’s feelings, so even if he had to see that sparkle disappear from Lu Zhengfei’s eyes, he had to tell him.

Lu Zhengfei was no longer smiling now.
He looked silently at Chen Qianqing, and at that very moment, that look in their eyes were shockingly similar.

Lu Zhengfei said: “Couldn’t you just lie?”

Chen Qianqing was blunt: “Is that really what you want?”

Lu Zhengfei did not speak.
Truthfully, they were both very clear about the answer.
In an instant, the ambiguous atmosphere had cooled down to the freezing point.
The warm and gentleness had disappeared from Lu Zhengfei’s face, and the only thing left was coldness.

Lu Zhengfei spoke: “Let’s just go with this, then.”

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Saying that, he got up and fixed his clothes before turning to leave.

Chen Qianqing sat on the sofa and watched Lu Zhengfei’s back as he left.
Suddenly, he felt a little breathless.
He had hurt Chen Qianqing, so he would hurt himself with even more cruelty.

Nobody could be more clear than Chen Qianqing how anyone could kill off Lu Zhengfei’s heart.

Lu Zhengfei shut the door with a bang, and Chen Qianqing had also slowly gotten up to return to his room.

During his long vacation break, Chen Qianqing spent most of his energy into rehabilitating his leg.
He did not wish to leave any traces of this event on his body, so even if it was very painful, he had still persisted.

Since that conversation, Lu Zhengfei had started to come home less.
Sometimes he would stay in the house for three or four days a week, and be off again, but he did not know what occupied his time.

Chen Qianqing was not worried at all that Lu Zhengfei would end up falling for someone else.
Nobody knew more than Chen Qianqing how attached Lu Zhengfei truly was to him.

The weather had become very hot in the month of August.
Lu Zhengfei had specially invited a rehabilitation expert to help Chen Qianqing in his recovery.

Chen Qianqing thanked Lu Zhengfei, but he only nodded to him in response.
The two had already been a cold war for a month now, or to be more accurate, it was Lu Zhengfei’s one-way struggle.
Chen Qianqing’s ‘I will never fall in love with you’ had a huge impact on Lu Zhengfei.

The old Chen Qianqing had also told him such things, but they would usually only come out when he was angry.
Lu Zhengfei was more willing to believe that those words had only come out of Chen Qianqing’s mouth as a way to vent his mood.

But that day, Chen Qianqing was very calm.
He was so calm that Lu Zhengfei had no other choice to believe him; these were words that came from the bottom of Chen Qianqing’s heart——He would never fall in love with him.

Nothing could make Lu Zhengfei feel more frustrated than this.
He really wanted to keep on deceiving himself like he always had, but he could not do it anymore.

Chen Qianqing would only pretend that he did not realize Lu Zhengfei’s situation this past month.
He focused on his own recovery, and thought only about getting better again; but because of this, he forgot one very important day.

Chen Qianqing’s birthday was on the seventh of November, and Lu Zhengfei’s birthday was on the nineteenth of August.

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And the current Chen Qianqing had completely forgotten about Lu Zhengfei’s birthday, only remembering his own.

Lu Zhengfei got up very early today, the nineteenth, while Chen Qianqing had woken up at eight.
As soon as he entered the living room, he saw Lu Zhengfei who had already finished his breakfast.

Chen Qianqing greeted Lu Zhengfei, and as usual, Lu Zhengfei ignored him.

Truthfully, Chen Qianqing did not care whether Lu Zhengfei gave him any attention or not, he even felt a little lucky that he did not have to speak with him.

Lu Zhengfei watched Chen Qianqing as he ate his porridge, and for the first time this month, he spoke: “Qianqing, I want to hear you play the piano.”

Chen Qianqing’s movements stiffened in place.
He could put on the perfect act of Chen Qianqing because he knew everything about him, but he had a huge flaw——He did not know how to play the piano, not even a little bit.

Lu Zhengfei asked: “Just today, can you play me a song?”

Chen Qianqing put down his spoon and wiped his mouth with a tissue.
Forcing himself to be calm, he asked: “What happened? Why did you suddenly feel like hearing me play the piano?”——Yes, he had completely forgotten that it was Lu Zhengfei’s birthday today.

Fortunately, Lu Zhengfei did not expect Chen Qianqing to remember what day it was today.
He only gazed at him in response: “Are you not going to play?”

Chen Qianqing noticed that the look in Lu Zhengfei’s eyes were getting dangerous.
Even though Lu Zhengfei looked very calm, Chen Qianqing knew that he was going to get angry very soon.

Provoking Lu Zhengfei on his birthday was definitely not the brightest thing to do, especially a Lu Zhengfei who had been at a cold war with him for a month; but there was no way Chen Qianqing could agree to Lu Zhengfei’s request, he could not do it.

Sometimes, silence was the best answer.
Lu Zhengfei asked again coldly: “Are you sure you won’t play?”

For some strange reason, Chen Qianqing felt his chest getting tight.
He sighed and looked at the calm Lu Zhengfei, responding in a soft voice: “Lu Zhengfei, are you angry at me?”

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Lu Zhengfei went on: “Chen Qianqing, I will say this one last time, are you going to play it or not?”

Even changing the topic was a failure, Chen Qianqing could only face his question now.
He even suspected whether Lu Zhengfei would smash the piano directly if he continued to refuse him——Without that tacit agreement they had, that thing would no longer hold any value to him.

Chen Qianqing looked into Lu Zhengfei’s eyes and told him the truth: “Lu Zhengfei, I don’t know how to play the piano anymore.”

Lu Zhengfei’s expression did not change.
It felt to him that Chen Qianqing was only lying to him: “You don’t know how to play anymore?”

“Yes.” Chen Qianqing did not show any signs of backing down: “After I woke up, I realized I didn’t know how to play it anymore.”

Lu Zhengfei smiled: “So, what you’re trying to say is that the piano has no reason to exist anymore?”

Before Chen Qianqing could even respond, he saw Lu Zhengfei standing up and turning to the stairs while carrying a stool in his hands.
In practically the next second, Chen Qianqing had understood what Lu Zhengfei was going to do——He was going to destroy that piano.

As if an explosion had just went off in Chen Qianqing’s head, there was only one thought left in his mind——Lu Zhengfei you little bastard, do you think you can touch that piano?!

Then his brain reacted, but his body had already started rushing towards Lu Zhengfei.

Chen Qianqing was never a match for Lu Zhengfei, be it his height or stature; as long as Lu Zhengfei was determined, there was little Chen Qianqing could do to stop him.

The two pushed and tugged at each other all the way to the second floor, and seeing that Lu Zhengfei had already lost his senses, and was not at all listening to what he was saying, Chen Qianqing could only go with the last resort: he yelled at Lu Zhengfei: “You fucker, don’t you just want to fuck me? Who the hell do you think you are, getting angry at a piano, fuck me if you have the guts, asshole!”

Lu Zhengfei stopped.
With eyes that were bloodshot due to his anger, he looked at Chen Qianqing: “Are you sure?”

Looking at the beastly gaze in his eyes, all Chen Qianqing could feel was that bitter taste in his mouth.