Your Majesty, Please Don’t Kill Me Again!

I’m aware that House Bellua hasn’t fallen yet.
It makes sense that I’m with him to prevent him from destroying my beloved Bellua.

But I’m a coward with neither confidence nor determination who can’t change Rupert’s nature even though I’m beside him.
I just sincerely hope for now that the monster that is Rupert would just pass by House Bellua.

He might not have thoughts of touching Bellua at all.
He was too young and too weak.
But that reason isn’t enough to say that Rupert has no hatred for my family.

It’s unavoidable.
He’s the ultimate murderer to me.
He’s the one who caused my pain, so I’m left with this choice even though it’s not fair.
He never listened to my pleas, so I won’t listen to his.
Even though he won’t ever feel wronged by my hatred towards him.

Rupert caused House Bellua’s downfall, and regrettably, he’s the only one who can prevent it.
It would be easier if he died from a nightmare or something, but even if I didn’t help him, he would still survive.
It left a bitter taste in my mouth how he’s so strong and resilient.

It would be nice if something bad happened to him and he died without getting me hurt in the process.

As I looked at the little boy who couldn’t even breathe properly, I could only think of such cruel things.

Tori took my hand as I looked at Rupert with a blank stare.

I think I’m a little surprised.

“La… Lariette…”

“Sorry, I was a bit shaken… How long has she been like this?”

“She’s having nightmares for a long time now, but it’s only now that she’s unable to breathe!”

When Tori said that, I put my hand on Rupert’s sweaty forehead.

Hot.

I broke up the herbs I had brought, put them in the palm of my hand, and put them on his head gently.

Rupert’s eyelids, out of focus on my hand, opened as if seeking light.
He forced his eyelids open and looked at my face right away.
He must have known I was not Tori because he widened his eyes when he saw me.
He looked upset that my hand was on his forehead, but he couldn’t move, so all he could do was bite his lips.

I saw how embarrassed Rupert was, showing me his weakness.
So I looked at him closely with worried eyes, as if I didn’t know anything.

“Your Highness, it’s me… Lariette.
Should I call the doctor?”

“Get… lost.”

I’m not sure if he thinks he’s dreaming or if he knows that I’m real.
It seemed to me that he knew that I was real, but I didn’t care.
I just need to act like a loyal maid that is worried that her Master is sick.

He was burning, but he couldn’t die from that… no fever would kill a monster like Rupert.
So I just pretended to pat the herbs on Rupert’s head.
Actually, it was meant to be eaten.

“My mother gave me this fever reducer, but I’m unsure if what I’m doing is right… I’m sorry.”

Rupert couldn’t hit me for crying and saying I was wrong, even though he tried.
I opened the pouch of medicine after he barely moved his neck to shake my hand away.
As I slowly read the instructions on the paper that came with the herb, I clapped and shoved the herb I had been rubbing on Rupert’s forehead into his mouth as if I had just realized.

“Your Highness! You need to eat this… say ahh and swallow.”

When I told Rupert to eat out the valuable herb, he spat it out.

No! I know how much this costs.

I wanted to scream, but instead, I picked up the herb from the pillow again and shoved it in his mouth again.
Rupert’s face became angry, not because he was hurt, but because he didn’t like me.
What a shame.

“You… shut it.”

“I don’t know what kind of nightmare it is for you to sweat and have a fever like that.”

“I told… you… to go? Tori!”

Rupert calls out for Tori, but his voice is raspy.

I stopped Tori from running to him and asked for some water.
Tori hesitated, looked at me and then at Rupert, and then left the room quickly.

“Do you think that I poisoned you?”

I sighed as I saw him bite the herb that I had put in his mouth but didn’t swallow.
As if to prove myself, I took the herbs to my mouth and ate them.

“Look here, I also ate them.”

Rupert slowly chewed on the herb.
He even confirmed that I had swallowed it.

Am I a big walking mass of doubt? I feel like he won’t trust even the tips of his fingernails to me.

I just smiled at him.
He was so weak that he couldn’t even move my hand off his forehead.

“Don’t be embarrassed to show me when you’re weak.”

“…”

“Don’t be shy… we all have bad dreams.”

Even though I’m already nineteen years old, I still often have vivid dreams where you dragged my father and Lehan away from me.
So I wanted Rupert to remember me as the person who helped him get out of his nightmare.
That way, my bad dreams won’t come true and become a reality.

Rupert stabilized quickly since the medicine was expensive and helped him feel better with its excellent medicinal effects.
He swallowed the sleeping pill in pill form that Tori had brought along with the water and laid still while I wiped his forehead with a damp towel.
The shape of his long, thick eyelashes is so pretty that it’s hard for others to believe he isn’t a girl, so until he’s fifteen, he lies about his gender.

“Does it hurt anywhere else?”

“…”

“That’s expensive… it’s a drug made by Champagne Pharmaceuticals to reduce fever.”

I frowned when he didn’t answer.
He also frowned and looked at me weakly with one eye.

“It’s expensive.”

His features were so beautiful that it looked like the artist put his heart into each one.
However, those eyes are nothing compared to the eyes of the backstreet thugs.
When he looked at me with a fierce look, I lowered my eyes and mumbled.

He was soon breathing softly and quietly as he fell asleep.
He’ll finally get the sleep I’ve wanted for a long time.
Rupert slept like he was dead, like a corpse, and I just stood there and watched.

“Tori, go to sleep… I’m looking out for her tonight.”

“No… I can’t let you do this alone.”

“Don’t worry about that… It’s part of my job as a servant, like you.”

“But you don’t usually stay with her at night….”

“I can do it tonight.”

Even though I was determined, Tori was still unsure.
Her face showed she was tired, so I smiled and took her hand.

“Are you sleepy? It’s okay to go.”

“Then I’ll shift with you in the morning.”

Tori yawned with her mouth wide open.
She slowly got up, probably because she was tired, and bowed her head toward Rupert, who was sound asleep.

I can’t even imagine Rupert hearing her say her proper greetings.
Tori never learned proper etiquette in the Imperial Court, but she was very good at greeting people.
After she leaves, there is nothing but silence.
Rupert’s thin breath filled the quiet room evenly, quiet as a dead mouse.

I just stared at his terrible face.
When I looked at him, the contempt and anger on my face revealed themselves, but I don’t plan on hiding it tonight.
No one is here.

He can’t even trust me even though I’m on his side.
He also has no faith in me whatsoever.
Even though Rupert was conscious, he wouldn’t take the medicine I gave him.
I don’t even look like I work for the Queen, but there’s still that bone-chilling mistrust.

Why?

The reason just came out without any thought.
He never believed my father, a Bellua, just like me.
It makes sense why he would never trust me as well.
My father held a great piece of information that could hinder Rupert’s ascension to the throne.
It was natural that Rupert would be anxious about it.

I don’t even know why my father, who has never gone to the Capital more than my fingers combined, would know a secret like that.
It shouldn’t be such a great secret that he knew about.

First of all, my father wasn’t good at plotting, so keeping such a big secret for him would just be a burden.

Arnulf wouldn’t have been messing around if it had been a useful secret, to begin with, either.

Is Aunt Amelia aware of what’s going on? She thought Grand Duke Ventibolt would be the Emperor, so she followed him.

I moaned, my head hurt, and slammed my head into Rupert’s bed.

I have to see my father.

No.
My father knew, but he didn’t say anything.

I have to meet my aunt first.
It’s hard for a quick-tempered nineteen-year-old girl who grew up in a rural area, not a big city, to understand the situation.
I’ve never been involved in politics, and I’ve never helped run the Bellua estate either.

In the end, I could only think of approaching Rupert.
Still, his distrust was the only result so far, so I felt frustrated, as if I was going crazy.

Why don’t you trust me? Time is running out.
Please, please believe me.

Rupert may be more suspicious of me because of my impatience, but I feel like I’m running out of steam in this fast-paced time.

He didn’t trust me, but I completely trusted him. 1

If I leave it like this, I know for sure that he will hurt me and Bellua.

“Trust me, Your Highness.”

There was no answer.
Of course, he slept deeply.

“I won’t betray Your Highness.”

At least as long as you’re in power.

I shut my eyes and mumbled something Rupert didn’t hear.

My eyelids were heavy, probably because I hadn’t slept well lately, and my tension eased.
A cool breeze came in through the open window.
I fell asleep while I was thinking about whether or not to close the window.

The dream from earlier that Tori interrupted when she woke me up continued.
I couldn’t see the face of the tall man, who was a head taller than me, but it was quite to my liking.
The fields of Bellua smelled faintly of lavender and were beautiful in the spring.
I liked to climb the hill behind the mansion by myself, even though I wasn’t with a man like this before.
Anyone who climbs a hill with a view of the village and watches the soft sunset will fall in love with the small and beautiful town of Bellua.

In the evening, Bellua county would have the sweet scent of flowers combined with the savory scent of dinner preparations.
When I closed my eyes and listened carefully, I could hear the children in the village playing.
I love Bellua so much.

“I love Bellua.”

When I said that, the man smiled and looked down at me.
I felt his smile, so I took his hand.
But he had a very small hand.
I couldn’t believe how small it was for a grown man’s hand, so I opened my eyes and held on to his hand even tighter.
His soft palm felt nice to the touch.

I suddenly realized.
Why do I recognize the feeling of a man’s hand? Am I still dreaming? It’s a dream, but why does it feel so real? This feels different.

Lari completely trusts that Rupert will destroy Bellua in the future, so she’s more desperate to have him trust her, to reconsider his purge of House Bellua in the future. ↩️