21st Century Archmage

‘Gaaaahh!

A tingly energy made my whole body prickle as if Id been bitten by bugs.

“As the important component of elements like the sky, earth, fire, wind, and water, mana is the driving force that operates the world. For a long time, humans desired to make mana into their own strength. Using the boundless talent granted to them by the great god Adeine, humans sought a method to use natures power for many years.”

Tzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

I opened my eyes and glared at old fart Bumdalf, who had pretended to be Gandalf. It was one thing to annoy someone while they were asleep, but this old fart Bumdalf had also put me on top of a strange magic circle that shooting sparks and was now giving a long speech. Even among kooky old men, there probably wasnt one who was this much of a nutcase.

‘That was no damn magic; he definitely put sleeping powder on the bracelet.

I couldnt believe it even though I tried. How could magic exist within a civilization that used cutting edge technology? If magicians truly existed, then they would have already appeared in Youchube videos.

“Magic puts emphasis on communicating with nature. The hard-won fruit of the ancients who worked to harness the strength of that nature was the creation of magic. Thus the magic language, or rune language, was born. Some said that magic was an amusement of man, gifted to them by the grace of a dragon. Others said that magic was a seed of evil planted in the human world by demons. But that was the ignorant manifestation of a sense of defeat by the foolish. The true root of magic was humans. The master of the world, the Great God Adeine, had chosen only the humans.”

I was one step away from being driven insane by the shocking wave of electricity that was rippling through my body, but this Bumdalf was going on and on about a ridiculous magic theory.

‘Could it be mad cow disease?

How else could he write out a fantasy novel that calmly, If he wasnt somehow wrong in the head? Even in my pain, I couldnt help but be suspicious of the mad cow disease that was still prevalent in Europe.

“But the fertile age of magic did not last long. Addicted to the present dimensions mana, magicians of darkness opened another dimension and summoned monsters from the demon world, bringing about a terrible ravenous ambition that would swallow the world. And thus began the long, long war between humans and the magicians of darkness. It could be called a proxy war between gods and devils, a divine war.”

Hearing old fart Bumdalf so fully immersed in emotion, as if telling a story from long ago, even I was made to listen closely despite my pain.

“And then, the dragon appeared. A dragon from another dimension was summoned by the great gods permission in order to preserve mankind, which had been driven to near extinction. Thus the First Divine War ended. The humans, who had once been the rulers of the land, entered a long, long period of a magic ice age, while suffering the contempt of the dragon and other races.”

As if he were really that angry, Bumdalf was grinding his teeth.

‘Tsk tsk, hes totally off his rocker.

It seemed like the man had written a proper fantasy novel with his imagination. There was no way something like that could have happened in the history of the earth. Of course, Bumdalf had said that magic users had existed, but no human would have had the guts to fight a war with devils. Besides the hotshot bluffing warriors who appeared in Greek and Roman myths, of course.

“Thats why I became a mage. I wanted to return everyone who dared to disrupt the land that mankind should have ruled over— the demons, the various races, and even the dragon— to whence they came. For myself, the Archmage Aidal!”

The real name of this Czech gramps who was incessantly spewing madness was Aidal.

My fear withered away and instead, pity filled my heart.

‘Well, in this rough world, its probably not too bad to become so fully crazy. If you were only half crazy youd probably be called a weirdo, but if you were to become perfectly bat-shit crazy, then no one would be able to call you out. For someone like that, even a mental hospital would pay money to reject someone like that.

“Kekeke, I trained in magic like crazy, and became an 8th Circle mage, a stage hadnt been reached in all of human history. And that was when I was exactly ninety-nine years old, too.”

‘Tch, this is interesting.

When writing a novel, you had to write it with realistic lies like that to make it fun. Even while in electrifying pain, I could feel that I was engrossed. The feeling was like coming across an interesting work after a very long period of time.

No matter how you sliced it, old fart Bumdalf Aidal didnt look much older than seventy. Proudly saying that he had become an archmage at age ninety-nine, that mental world of his was admirable. Even so, it didnt seem like he was paint-the-walls-with-poop level crazy. Rather, he came across as a pure and beautiful soul who was still dreaming about a fantasy. Even Don Quixote would call him an elder brother.

‘Now all that needs to come up is dimensional travel. Pleased, I tried my hand at predicting the next part of the story.

“But that was as far as I went. Even during the lost Magic Era, the 9th Circle was a godly domain not permitted to humans. No matter how hard I tried, I couldnt rise to the 9th Circle. Bloody hell, damn it…

He spat out the very familiar words: bloody hell and damn it. Such frustration was necessary in order to proceed with the story.

“Even though I wanted to attain 9th Circle magic and attempt a mana change! Like a dragon, I wanted to become a handsome man through polymorph magic and have all the worlds women… Arggghhh!”

Now he was suddenly spouting a very human idea.

‘H-have all the worlds women… Guh!”

As I reeled in pain from the shock that followed his frustration, Bumdalf Aidal didnt even look to see what kind of shock I was in, and continued with the next part of the story.

“Ahem, even so, it was still worth living. Before I knew it, I became the master of a magic tower, and every empire and kingdom was desperate to curry favor with me. Kuku, worldly treasures and endless research funds poured in at the start of every year. I passed a hundred years of age and was somehow able to find solace. I could restore my youth to some extent with 8th Circle magic anyways, so I was able to hit it off with the fresh chicks in no time at all! If only I hadnt met that bastard. Urgh!”

Aidals life story was getting more exciting. I knew it was fiction, but my ears were sharply tuned in to his forceful melodrama. There was still a tinge of tingliness in my body, but I was so immersed in the story that I was able to forget about that pain.

“Twas a very windy day. When I had just finished writing a polite letter asking every kingdom to quickly send me the princesses who would become my wives, that bastard appeared. He was a truly shit-faced bastard!”

Even I was curious about who it was.

The story was pretty watertight. I felt like if I could just return to Korea, even I could debut as a writer with this story as a base.

“It was a shock. A bastard who hadnt even reached his forties challenged me to a magic duel. Me, this 8th Circle Archmage Aidal-nim!”

As if recalling that moment, lightning sizzled from Bumdalf Aidals eyes.

‘A dragon came to have some fun? Or a devil? I tried guessing who had appeared.

“At first, I thought he was a silly novice and magnanimously showed him mercy. My temper is as sharp as a blade, so I normally just burn alive the little shits that charge at me. But I held back since that was a felicitous day when I had made my first step towards getting married.”

‘M-maybe hes not an archmage, but a sorcerer instead? And one that made the world quiver, at that…

Otherwise there would be no reason for empires and kingdoms to send him bribes, and an old man like him wouldnt have been able to send invitations to bring forth the princesses. If he had been an honorable, good-tempered mage, he wouldnt have even dreamt of getting married at a hundred years of age.